CHAPTER SEVEN - Death and Mourning: End of Life Questions

A: BACKGROUND

9. The Burial: Additional Features

Keriah

Another feature of the graveside service (although it can take place earlier) is that of , [keriah], the ceremony of tearing one of the outer garments of the direct mourners. The garment is torn on the left side for a parent and on the right side for other relations, because of the presence of the heart on the left.

The origin of this idea appears to be Biblical. Jacob tore his clothes when he was confronted with the evidence of Joseph’s death, (Bereishit 37:34) and David did the same when he heard the news of the death of Saul and Jonathan (II Samuel 1:11).

The powerful symbolism and impact of the tear are clear: something that was whole has been torn apart.

• This can relate to the dead body that has been torn away from its soul;
• It could refer to the relationship between the person that died and those that have been left behind;
• It could also refer to the internal tearing in the heart of the mourners themselves.

The torn garment is traditionally worn for the duration of the initial mourning period, the shiva, of which more will be said below. The tradition is to precede the tearing with the saying of the phrase (Baruch Dayan emet) , “Blessed is the Righteous Judge”, accepting the judgment of G-d, in His decision to take back the soul of the dead person.

The tradition of tearing clothes has been replaced in many communities by the rending of a ribbon attached to an outer garment, although there are those that argue that this is to be discouraged, since it renders a ritual of deep power into a more superficial act.

Tzidduk Hadin

Among the prayers that are recited at the grave, it is worth singling out the powerful prayer (tzidduk hadin), the justice of the law.

As its name implies, this is a further reminder of the justice of G-d’s decisions.

• However, unlike the Kaddish and the other prayers recited at the burial, this is a prayer which is specific to a graveside ceremony.
• Of all the prayers. it is the only one that focuses on G-d’s justice in a context of death. As such, it assumes more than average importance in this specific setting.

Here are some of the ideas:

G-d’s work is perfect, for all his ways are justice…
He rules below and above. He orders death and restores to life. He brings down to the grave and brings up again…
You are just, Lord, in ordering death and restoring to life…
Far be it from You to blot out remembrance…
If a man lives a year or a thousand years, what does it profit him? He shall be as though he has not been. Blessed be the true Judge, who orders death and restores to life…
The soul of every living thing is in Your hand. Your might is full of righteousness. Have mercy upon the remainder of your flock and say to the destroying angel, “Stay your hand!”
Prayerbook

This goes far beyond the general praise and affirmation of faith previously encountered in this context. It is an acceptance of the justice of the specific decree of G-d, in terms of decisions regarding the life and death of individuals. It is therefore an important milestone on the road from doubt (aninut) to certainty.

It is worth noting that, in Judaism, it is considered a very important act to attend a funeral; many stories and traditions point people in this direction. Attendance at a funeral is viewed as a further dimension of the principle of kavod hamet, respect for the dead person. Indeed, it is worth emphasizing that the very name used for the burial ceremony, (levayah), literally means accompaniment. The word itself has an implication of community presence.

Filling in the Grave

One final aspect of the burial service should be mentioned here. After the service at the graveside is finished, the process of the filling in the grave with earth begins immediately. First the close family members - the mourners themselves – are handed shovels and they are the first to shovel earth on to the top of the coffin, or the shrouded corpse. The rest of the family and friends follow suit.

It is, in many ways, a shocking act. The shovelling of earth onto a body appears, at first glance, to be cruel and heartless, but it is a vital step in closure - accepting the finality of the death and acknowledging that it is now time to start going forward and preparing for life without the deceased.

This is another of the ways in which Jewish culture is so realistic in its attitude to death: the death has happened. It is a fact, says the tradition, through the shovelled earth; it is time to move on to the next phase.