CHAPTER SEVEN - Death and Mourning: End of Life Questions

A: BACKGROUND

3. The End of Life: Struggle and Release

Death is not something that should be sought, according to Judaism.

It is a natural part of life and when the time comes for a person to die, the decree must be accepted. However, a person is commanded to cling to life prior to the acceptance of the decree.

The poetess Rachel captured this well in a poem that she wrote before her tragically young death at age 41, from tuberculosis. In one of many poems that she wrote in her last years, before her final succumbing to the disease, she said the following.

He breathes his last, my rebellion is dying,
That fiery, proud and gay one.
Surrender, a pale widow,
Approaches my house in silence.

She prises my clenched teeth open,
She loosens my fists closed tightly,
She fetches ashes in handfuls
To cover the last of my embers.

And with head bowed down and silent
Creeps into a distant corner.
I know too well she will never
Leave my house again.
Rachel Bluwstein “Surrender”

In it, she presents the two complementary approaches to impending death inherent in Judaism:

• On the one hand, there is the fight against death – that of the clenched teeth and the closed fists.
• On the other, is the ultimate acceptance, reluctantly, of death as something that will occur.

The prototype story of this double stance in Judaism is, perhaps, the story of the death of Moses.

The Moses of the Bible essentially accepts the news of his death, but the Midrash creates a very different picture. The Moses of the midrashic tradition refuses to accept G-d’s command and fights against it with every weapon that he can muster. Moses’ shout of the injustice of the pronouncement of his death, before he has seen the Promised Land, is so strong and so penetrating that G-d is forced to bolt the Heavens to prevent Moses’ claims from wreaking havoc on the Divine order.

Finally, G-d calms Moses with the explanation that all mortals have to die and this must be accepted. He promises to take care of the burial Himself. And now Moses accepts G-d’s judgment and prepares himself for death. Finally, the Midrash relates, G-d takes Moses’ soul with a kiss.

This rabbinic story, told with many variations, discloses the Rabbis’ unease about the seemingly unjust death of Moses, and by extension with all those who die “before their time”.

The rebellion which they attribute to Moses, as well as the latter’s subsequent acceptance of the reality of death, with the need to accept G-d’s judgment - despite its seeming heartlessness -, are its key elements. Death is not to be welcomed: it is to be fought.

However, ultimately it is to be accepted as the will of G-d, Who takes everybody - since all are mortal -, concerns Himself with burial needs and accepts their souls with a Divine kiss.

It is hardly surprising that this rabbinic version of Moses’ death has become the paradigm for understanding the theology of death. Even Moses’ age at death – 120 – has become the symbol of the desirable length of life. “– till [the age of] 120” is the blessing for long life that Jews offer each other.

Together with this ultimate acceptance of death goes another idea: the realisation that death often takes people before they have had a chance to achieve what they see as their essential life’s task.

Once again, Moses is the paradigm. The idea of seeing the Promised Land, but not going into it, has entered the human lexicon as a deep and common truth.

In another poem which is inscribed on her grave, Rachel herself talks of the fact that – each person has their own [Mount] Nevo (the mountain from which Moses saw the land and died).

In the words of another Midrash:

No one leaves this world with even half of their desires fulfilled.
Kohelet Rabbah 1:13

This is a fact of life - and of death - that has to be accepted.

This twin attitude of rebellion and ultimate acceptance has a number of implications that are found in the ritual of death in Judaism.

• The dying person should know that they are dying. Rather than trying to improve the spirits of the dying with false promises of improvement in their condition, there is a need for truth and honesty when dealing with the dying.
• They should be told the truth about their situation.
• This truth is to be given with compassion, but it is indeed to be the truth.
• People should be encouraged to accept the fact of their death.