CHAPTER SEVEN - Death and Mourning: End of Life Questions

THE JEWISH LIFE CYCLE
By Steve Israel

C: Educational Activities

32. Keriah – Tearing and Repairing
(About forty-five minutes)

The aim of this activity is to return to one of the themes already examined in previous chapters, namely: the use of ritual and symbol to externalise inner feelings and needs.

Preparation:

Pieces of cloth for participants.

There should also be some pairs of scissors, together with other irrelevant objects, on a table next to the group. They should be referred to when the exercise starts, along the lines that they are there in case they are needed.

Everybody in the group receives a piece of cloth. Ask them to reflect privately as to whether they can think of any possible relevance of a piece of cloth to the mourning cycle.

Participants are asked to do the relevant thing to the piece of cloth that they are holding, if they know what it is - while the group sits in silence.

If nothing happens after a minute or so, and no one knows what to do, the facilitator should give hints and, if necessary, show participants what to do.

Either the participants, or the facilitator, should explain what has just beendone and how and where it fits into the mourning process – and everyone should be asked to do the same thing.

At this point, the facilitator reminds the group about the idea of external rituals reflecting deep personal needs, either for the individual, or for the collective.

• What could such a thing possibly mean?

The group lists the possible meanings and is asked whether they think that this is a “successful”, i.e. suitable, ritual or not.

• Are there other suggestions they could make to externalise the personal meanings that they have suggested?

It should be explained to the group (or bring it out of them: they might have seen it) that in many western burials, the garment has been replaced by a ribbon.

• Discuss why this development might have occurred.
• Discuss whether this is a good development or not.
• Is the tear in the ribbon an adequate replacement for the tear in the garment?

They now divide into smaller groups:

• They are asked firstly to think of the various alternatives regarding the question what should be done with a torn garment after the shiva when one traditionally wears the garment.
• Secondly, they should be asked to discuss the various possibilities and come up with the group’s suggestion as to the most suitable action.

After reviewing the suggestions as a group, it is possible to close with Alisa Rubin Kurshan's idea to create a ritualised closure ceremony for the shiva, incorporating the element of repairing the tear. (“Knitting Up the Tear” in the Bibliography for the full details.)

• What inner needs does a ceremony like this come to answer?
• Is the ritual suggested successful in doing this, according to the point of view of the group?