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 CHAPTER
SIX - The Aging Process: Late Life Questions
B: PRIMARY TEXTS
INDEX
- Earning Long Life – The Biblical View
- The Rabbinic View
- The Virtues of Old Age
- Respect for the Elderly
- Old Age: Different Sides of the Picture
- The Meaning of Honouring Parents
- The Limits of Parental Respect
- Loving Torah
- Ethical Wills
In this section you will find the various texts brought in the background
section, with the addition of some commentary and extra texts that are
relevant within the context. After each text is a reference to relevant
section in the background text. The additional texts can be used as the
basis for further programming - either individually, or juxtaposed with
the other texts - in order to further enrich the activities.
16. EARNING LONG LIFE – THE BIBLICAL VIEW (Section
2)
16a. Honour your father and your mother, so
that you may live long in the land that the Lord your G-d is giving
you.
Shemot 20:12
16b. If you come across a bird’s nest
beside the road, either in a tree or on the ground and the mother
is sitting on the young or on the eggs, do not take the mother with
the young. You may take the young, but be sure to let the mother go,
so that it may go well with you and you may have a long life.
Devarim 22:6-7
16c. You must have accurate and honest weights
and measures, so that you may live long in the land that the Lord
is giving you.
Devarim 25:15
16d. These are the commands, decrees and laws
that the Lord your G-d directed me to teach you to observe in the
land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess. [This is] so that
you, your children and their children after them may fear the Lord
your G-d as long as you live by keeping his decrees and commands that
I give you and so that you may enjoy long life.
Devarim 6:1-2
17. THE RABBINIC VIEW (Section
2)
The Rabbis accepted the Biblical viewpoint that longevity did not happen
without good reason, but should be considered a Divine reward for a
life of virtue. Tthis approach is well illustrated in the following
Talmudic story.
The disciples of Rav Adda ben Ahaba asked him: To what do you
attribute the length of your life? He replied: I have never displayed
any impatience in my house, and I have never walked in front of any
man greater than myself. I have never meditated [over the Torah] in
any dirty alleyways, nor have I ever walked four cubits without [meditating
over] the Torah or without tefillin. I have never fallen asleep in
the Bet Midrash nor have I rejoiced at the disgrace of my friends…
Babylonian Talmud Ta’anit 20b
18. THE VIRTUES OF OLD AGE (Section
3)
In addition to the two Biblical quotations, below is an excerpt from
the fascinating book of wisdom written by the second century B.C.E.
Sage, Ben Sira. A wise and presumably elderly man himself, Ben Sira
had a number of thoughts on the subject of age and wisdom.
18a. Grey hair is a crown of splendour: it is
attained by a righteous life.
Proverbs 16: 31
18b. Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does
not long life bring understanding?
Job 12:12
18c. Do not treat a man with disrespect when
he is old,
For some of us are growing old…
Do not neglect the discourse of wise men,
But busy yourself with their proverbs,
For from them you will gain instruction.
And learn to serve great men.
Do not miss the discourse of old men,
For they learnt it from their fathers.
From them you will gain understanding,
And learn to return an answer in your time of need…
How beautiful is the wisdom of old men…
Rich experience is the crown of old men
And their boast is the fear of the Lord.
Ben Sira 8:6-9; 25:5-6
19. RESPECT FOR THE ELDERLY (Section
4)
The Biblical picture is again amplified with an excerpt from Ben Sira,
who had much to say on the need to respect the elderly.
19a. Rise in the presence of the aged, show
respect for the elderly and revere your G-d. I am the Lord.
Vayikra 19:32
19b. Honour your father in word and
in deed,
So that his blessing may attend you,
For a father’s blessing establishes the houses of his children,
But a mother’s curse uproots their foundations.
Do not glorify yourself by dishonouring your father,
For your father’s disgrace is no glory to you.
A man’s glory arises from honouring his father,
And a neglected mother is a reproach to her children.
My child, help your father in his old age,
And do not grieve him as long as he lives.
If his understanding fails, be considerate
And do not humiliate him when you are in your prime…
He who deserts his father is like a blasphemer,
And he who angers his mother is cursed by the Lord…
Honour your father with your whole heart
And do not forget the pangs of your mother.
Remember that it was of them that you were born,
And how can you repay them for what they have done for you?
Ben Sira 3:8-16; 7:27-28
20. OLD AGE: DIFFERENT SIDES OF THE PICTURE (Section
5)
20a. Do not cast me away when I am old: do not
forsake me when my strength is gone.
Psalm 71:9
20b. Moses was 120 years old when he died yet
his eyes were not weak nor his natural strength abated.
Devarim 34:7
20c. When King David was old and well advanced
in years, he could not keep warm even when they put covers over him.
I Kings 1:1
20d. I am now eighty years old. Can I tell the
difference between what is good and what is not? Can your servant
taste what he eats and drinks? Can I still hear the voices of men
and women singers? Why should your servant be a burden to my lord
the king?
II Samuel 19:35
20e. Remember your Creator in the days of your
youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when
you will say, “I find no pleasure in them”: before the
sun and the light and the moon and stars grow dark and the clouds
return after the rain: when the keepers of the house tremble and strong
men stoop, when the grinders cease because they are few and those
looking through the window grow dim: when the doors to the street
are closed and the sound of grinding fades: when men rise up at the
sound of birds but all their songs grow faint: when men are afraid
of heights and of dangers in the streets: when the almond tree blossoms
and the grasshopper drags himself along and desire no longer is stirred.
Then man goes to his eternal home and mourners go about the streets.
Remember him – before the silver cord is severed, or the golden
bowl is broken: before the pitcher is shattered at the spring, or
the wheel broken at the well, and the dust returns to the ground from
which it came and the spirit returns to G-d who gave it. Meaningless,
meaningless says the Teacher, everything is meaningless.
Kohelet 12:1-8
21. THE MEANING OF HONOURING PARENTS (Section
11)
Here are some additional excerpts from Rabbinic literature.
One particularly interesting addition is the second text, which relates
one of the most extreme examples of filial respect for parents in the
whole of the literature. Its major interest stems from the fact that
it relates the acts of a non-Jew from Ashkelon, Dama, who is held up
as a paragon of virtue in this particular sphere. The conclusion that
the rabbis draw is particularly enlightening.
21a. It happened that R. Tarphon’s
mother went forth on the Sabbath for a walk in her courtyard. When
her sandal split, R. Tarphon held his hands under the soles of her
feet and she walked on his hands until she came to her couch…
Whenever she wished to go up to her couch, he would bend down to let
her get up [by stepping on him]…
Bab. Talmud. Kiddushin 31b
21b. When R. Eliezer was asked, “How far
should one go in honouring one’s father and mother?” he
replied, “Go and see what a certain heathen named Dama ben Netinah
did for his father in Ashkelon. Once, the Sages sought some precious
stones from him for the [High Priest’s] ephod at a profit to
him of sixty myriad [gold denars]. But the key to where the stones
was kept was under his [sleeping] father’s pillow and he would
not disturb him.”
The following year, however, the Holy One gave him his reward.
A red heifer [an extremely rare animal needed for the rites of purification
in the Temple] was born to him in his herd. When the Sages of Israel
visited him [intending to buy it], he said to them, “I know
about you. Even if I were to ask all the money in the world you would
pay me. But all I ask of you is the amount that I lost because I honoured
my father”.
R. Hanina said: If one who is not commanded [to honour his parents]
and nevertheless does so is rewarded thus, how much more by far one
who is commanded and does so!
Bab. Talmud. Kiddushin 31a
21c. Our masters taught that there are three
partners in a person, the Holy One, a person’s father and mother.
When a man honours his father and mother, the Holy One says, “
I count it [to his credit] as though I were dwelling among them and
they were honouring Me”.
Bab. Talmud. Kiddushin 31b
21d. When a man curses his father or mother,
or strikes them, leaving bruises on them, the Holy One draws his feet
back under the Throne of Glory, if one can say such a thing, saying:
"I made the honouring of his parents equal to the honouring of
Me. Had I been dwelling with this man, he would have done the same
to Me. I do well not to live in the same house with such a man".
Tanna de Bei Eliyahu
21e. R. Shimon said: Great is the duty of honouring
one’s father and mother, since the Holy One set the honour due
to them above the duty due to Himself. For concerning the honour due
to the Holy One it is written, “Honour the Lord with your wealth”
(Proverbs 3:9). How is one to honour G-d with one’s wealth?
One sets aside gleanings, forgotten sheaves and the corners of one’s
field: One gives offerings and tithes: One makes a lulav, a succah
, a shofar, tefillin and tzitzit: One feeds the hungry, gives drink
to the thirsty and clothes the naked. In short, if you have wealth,
you are obligated to do all these things, but if you have no wealth,
you are not obligated to do even one of them. When it comes to honouring
father and mother, however, whether you have wealth or not, what does
it say? "Honour your father and mother”, even if you have
to go begging in doorways.
Pesikta Rabati 23
21f. “Honour thy father and thy mother”and
“Thou shall not commit murder”. What is the significance
of having those two commandments placed next to each other [in the
list of the ten commandments]? [To teach us] that if a man has ample
provisions in his house, yet refuses to give the benefit of them to
his father and mother when they are young, let alone in their old
age, it is as if all his days he has been committing murder in the
presence of Him who is everywhere. For this reason the commandment,
“Honour thy father and they mother” is followed by, “Thou
shall not commit murder”.
Tanna de Bei Eliyahu
22. THE LIMITS OF PARENTAL RESPECT (Section
11)
22a. And how far must one go in their reverence?
Even if he is dressed in precious clothes and is sitting in an honoured
place before many people, and his parents come and tear his clothes,
hitting him on the head and spitting in his face, he may not shame
them, but he must rather keep silent .
Maimonides. Mishneh Torah: Mamrim 6:7
22b. If the mind of the father or mother is affected, the son
should make every effort to indulge the vagaries of the stricken parent
until G-d has mercy on the afflicted. But if the condition of the
parent has grown worse and the son is no longer able to endure the
strain, he may leave his father or mother, go elsewhere, and delegate
to to others to give the parents the proper care.
Mishneh Torah: Mamrim 6:10
Out of many possible examples, there is just one additional text below.
The love of Torah was such an important idea to the Rabbis, that it
is not surprising that so many stories and observations that have been
handed down about it.
23a. Hour after hour, words of Torah are loved
as much by those who study them as when they first made their acquaintance
with them…Why are words of Torah likened to a breast? As with
a breast, however often the infant feels like it, he finds milk in
it: so too with words of Torah – whenever a man meditates on
them, he finds flavour in them.
Bab. Talmud Eruvin 54a-b
23b. “And let them be like fish”.
(Bereishit 48:16). Fish, though they grow in water, nevertheless,
when a drop of rain falls on them from above, nevertheless leap for
it thirstily as if they had never tasted water in their lives. So,
too, Israel. Though brought up in the waters of Torah, nevertheless
when they hear a new interpretation of it, they receive it thirstily
as though they had never heard a word of Torah in their lives.
Bereishit Rabbah 97:3
Below are the two examples brought in the background section, but it
is worth mentioning again the book of wisdom written by Jerusalemite
Ben Sira, just over two thousand years ago. A book, rather than an ethical
will, its essence is of an expanded ethical will, only presumably written
for a public wider than just the family. Significantly, the book was
later published by the writer’s grandson with a preface that he
had found it extremely useful personally. In this sense, it is really
an extension of the wisdom of the old being offered to younger generations.
24a. My son, when I have left you, devote yourself
to the study of Torah and the study of medicine. Chiefly occupy yourself
with Torah, for you have a wise and understanding heart and all you
need is ambition and application. Let your face shine on people: tend
their sick and may your advice cure them. Take money from the rich
but treat the poor without money. The Lord will repay you. In this
way, you will win the respect of people high and low and your good
name will go forth far and wide…
My son, I command you to honour your wife as much as you can. She
is intelligent and modest, a daughter of a distinguished and educated
family. To act otherwise is the way of the contemptible…
Never refuse to lend books to anyone who has not the means to purchase
books for himself, but only act thus to those who can be trusted to
return the volumes. Cover the bookcases with rugs of fine quality
and preserve them from damp and from mice, for your books are your
greatest treasure…
The Ethical Will of Judah Ibn Tibbon
24b. If they can manage it, my sons and daughters
should live in communities and not isolated from other Jews, so that
their sons and daughters can learn the ways of Judaism. Even if compelled
to request money from others in order to pay for a teacher, they must
not let the young of either sex go without instruction in the Torah.
Marry your children, my sons and daughters, as soon as their age is
ripe, to members of respectable families.
To the slanderer do not respond with counter-attack, and though it
is proper to rebut false accusations, it is most desirable to set
an example of reticence. You yourselves must avoid uttering any slander
for so will you win affection. In trade be true, never grasping what
belongs to another. By avoiding such wrongs – scandal, falsehood,
money-grubbing – people will surely find tranquillity and affection.
Be very particular to keep your houses clean and tidy. I was always
scrupulous on that point, for every injurious condition and sickness
and poverty are to be found in foul dwellings.
The Ethical Will of Eleazar of Mayence
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