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 CHAPTER
FIVE:Those Who don’t Fit the Model: Family Situations and Status
in Judaism and the Jewish World
7B. Gay and Jewish? The Contemporary Situation
History is rather sparse in its sources and it is, of course, impossible
to say whether the silence of our historical sources actually conceal
a great deal of unhappiness, as people with homosexual and lesbian tendencies
suppressed their real desires and conformed to outward norms.
Nevertheless, it might be deduced from the recent explosion of homosexual
and lesbian activity in the western Jewish world - where large numbers
of orthodox Jews have also begun to acknowledge their homosexuality in
recent years - that this must have indeed been the case over the millennia.
In the orthodox world, for many years, the assumption existed - and is
still largely prevalent - that homosexuality and lesbianism are products
of assimilatory currents in the Jewish world that wish to follow the most
progressive trends.
However, recent research has shown that, even in the inner circles of
Orthodoxy, there are significant numbers of gay Jews, bringing this interpretation
into question. Hotlines and support groups for specifically Halachic Jews
attract large numbers of responses.
The difficulties of homosexuality and lesbianism for Halachically observant
Jews are obvious. Most of these orthodox Jews are wrestling in immense
pain with their homosexuality: they have somehow to square their own undeniable
tendencies and sexual preferences with the uncompromising condemnation
of the Jewish tradition, which views them as unacceptable deviants from
the will of G-d.
This is clearly no passing assimilatory fashion, but a deep and painful
crisis for Orthodox Jews who do not seek it, as they try and live the
G-dly life.
Consider the reasons for the uncompromising negativity of the Jewish
tradition towards homosexuality:
 Firstly,
it is clear that, from a historical perspective, the opposition to homosexuality
was born as the Israelite world-view developed in opposition to prevailing
moral norms associated with paganism. Homosexuality and other sexual acts
were part and parcel of the many pagan rituals performed in the temples
of the ancient world. In the uncompromising fight against pagan values,
the Hebrew world-view attempted to forge an alternative to what was considered
the obscenity of pagan worship.
However,
the Jewish opposition to homosexuality clearly goes much deeper than the
historical: homosexuality kicks strongly against the soft underbelly of
some of the most important values in Judaism that we have come across
in this examination of the Jewish life cycle.
- Judaism’s first commandment is concerned with procreation;
sexuality is encouraged and not repressed, but always in the service
of procreation.
- The human sperm is thus to be utilised in the service of life; homosexuality
encourages the spilling of seed in what is ultimately a barren act from
which no life can ensue.
If a pro-life attitude is at the heart of the Jewish perspective, it
is clear why a physical act that will “waste” human seed
and therefore potential human life, would be seen in negative terms.
Incidentally, this presumably explains why the opposition to lesbianism
is not as pronounced as to homosexuality: in lesbian sexual activity
no seed is wasted.
- Additionally, a view of society founded on the family framework will
also encounter enormous difficulties with a way of life which, by its
very nature, is perceived to be undermining the normal family and social
structure.
- It is most instructive that the Jewish view of homosexuality regards
it not only as obligating Jews, but regards abstinence from homosexual
behaviour as one of the commandments that is incumbent on
all human beings – one of the so-called Noachide laws:
i.e., that human society, like Jewish society, should be based on the
family framework. The homosexual, it is traditionally believed, has
nothing to offer society in this respect.
Thirdly,
an extension of the other two reasons: Jewish survival in a hostile world
necessitated a great emphasis on childbirth.
The Jewish historical experience transformed procreation from a general
value into a vehicle of survival. From this point of view, it was believed
that homosexual activity had nothing to offer a Jewish future.
It is interesting to note that much of the opposition to
homosexuality mirrors, in a sharper manner, ideas already encountered
in relation to single, unmarried, Jews.
The contemporary reality of the wider Jewish world, where homosexual
and lesbian Jews are an established fact, poses a tremendous challenge
to this view:
While many
Jewish homosexuals mirror the general apathy towards Judaism that is widespread
in many sectors of the Jewish population, there are many others who consider
themselves involved in Judaism and the community, who are proud to be
Jewish, and wish to forge a lifestyle that incorporates their gay identity,
without denying their Jewishness and/or their commitment to Judaism.
Recent years
have witnessed a sustained voluntary association of such Jews and thus
the appearance of many gay congregations, in turn forcing the established
movements to define their attitudes towards the new frameworks. As a result,
some of these congregations have aligned with the Reform and Reconstructionist
movements.
The Orthodox
world, however, now counsels therapy and behaviourism as roads towards
a heterosexual lifestyle: innately, there are those who recognise that
there is a call for help, but maintain that, even where the origins of
homosexuality go beyond the psychological, it is not accepted as an alternative
to heterosexuality.
Non-orthodox
Jewish spokespersons have rejected this approach as patronising and repressive
and have argued for alternative approaches within the tradition. Here,
a number of different positions have been adopted:
- One position is to argue that, since homosexuality
and lesbianism are biological drives not chosen by the individual, they
must be considered to come from G-d and therefore cannot be rejected
by those who believe in embracing G-d’s world and Creation.
- Another point of view is that homosexuals and lesbians
are just as capable of a strong, loving, serious and committed relationship
as heterosexuals, and it is wrong simply to conceive of homosexuality
as relating to sexual acts: homosexuality and lesbianism are just as
capable of creating positive and lasting relationships, as heterosexuality.
Therefore, surely, such productive relationships must be regarded as
positive; they have nothing in common with the wild orgiastic behaviour
of ancient paganism.
According to this position, homosexual activity within a serious relationship
should be accepted. The recent tendency of some homosexuals and lesbians
to create a same-sex family relationship replete with children will
presumably underline the viewpoint that the gay family is a legitimate
entity.
As with the issue of intermarriage, the lines are therefore drawn fairly
clearly, at the moment, between:
- A range of attitudes in the non-orthodox world that tend
to be more accepting – if not supportive – of homosexual
behaviour and frameworks;
- And the orthodox world, which tends to be fairly uncompromising
in its approach, tied in to a commitment to a traditional Halachah that
leaves little operational flexibility.
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