CHAPTER THREE - Adolescent Issues and Coming-of-Age Ceremonies

A: BACKGROUND

9. Bring on the Girls – The Big Bat Mitzvah Question

Having examined the central elements of the Bar Mitzvah ceremony for the thirteen year old boy, let us turn to the issue of the parallel status for girls. The Bat Mitzvah ceremony is far younger than the Bar Mitzvah. If the latter was introduced into Jewish life in the late Middle Ages, the girls’ ceremony is at root a nineteenth century invention, introduced to provide some kind of parallel ceremony for girls in a community where they had been traditionally ignored, in terms of their ritual participation in synagogue rites. As the status of women began to be debated in the wake of the Haskalah (the Jewish enlightenment), an attempt was made to draw women into the ritual from which they had always been disbarred - and one of the outcomes was the Bat Mitzvah ceremony.

An additional reason, and no less significant, appears to have been the necessity of providing a focal point for Jewish education for girls.

Increasingly, as a sense of obligation to life-long study began to drop away from Jewish communities, boys began to be educated at least “up to the Bar Mitzvah”. In other words, the Bar Mitzvah became a kind of lever to induce boys and their parents to continue a Jewish education, at least until the age of thirteen, while for girls there was no such incentive. Therefore, one of the motives for the development of the concept of Bat Mitzvah appears to have been the educational one.

To reiterate:

The Bar Mitzvah is a ceremony without a basis in the tradition. The elements mentioned as parts of the Bar Mitzvah ceremony have indeed become central for logical reasons, but the fact remains that they are not mandatory, which allows considerable creative freedom in the organisation of the Bar Mitzvah. Other life cycle ceremonies are tied to a ritual framework which can be embroidered creatively; in the case of the Bar Mitzvah, we are essentially free to do as we please. If this is true of the Bar Mitzvah, it is infinitely more true for the Bat Mitzvah - a far more recent addition to the rituals of Judaism.

The Bat Mitzvah is by no means universally accepted within Judaism:

Traditional, orthodox Judaism has been, at best, ambivalent about any kind of recognition of the new status (although there is a clearly different legal status for girls at twelve years old), except for the fact that a girl does have to observe fast days.

This remains the case in all ultra-orthodox communities, despite the changes in attitude to teaching Torah to women and girls (see Section 27).

Part of the reason appears to have been the fear that, by seeming to be parallel to the Bar Mitzvah ceremony, it would indeed detract from the special character of that ceremony for boys, or change the balance of religious roles and status. Certainly, even in those orthodox communities in which the idea of marking the Bat Mitzvah has been accepted, the character of the ceremony has no parallel with the counterpart male ceremony. In the vast majority of orthodox communities which do accept the idea of Bat Mitzvah within the synagogue setting, the father and brothers might well be called up to the reading of the Torah and a mention of the girl might be made, with a public message of congratulation. It is unlikely that much more will be done in the synagogue setting.

In modern orthodox circles, there might be the element of a “Se’udat Mitzvah” with family and friends, where the girl will indeed give a Dvar Torah, reflecting primarily the change of approach to Jewish learning for girls - but usually outside the synagogue setting.

In rare cases, there might be a ritualised gathering for women only, in which the Bat Mitzvah might read Torah or lead a part of the prayers, as well as giving a Dvar Torah.

There are a exceptions to the above, which might indicate a growing movement towards change and acceptance of Bat Mitzvah as a landmark event in the orthodox world in conjunction with greater opportunities for Jewish learning for women and their enhanced status in the parental and younger generations:

In recent years, a strong movement for maximum women’s equality within a Halachic framework has arisen. There are a number of congregations in the Jewish world are orthodox and Halachic by definition, but radically liberal in their social and political agendas - initially in the Diaspora and, more recently, in Israel.

• In these congregations – which are a very small minority within the orthodox world - there will certainly be the opportunity for the girl to address the congregation with a Dvar Torah.
• There might even be a special Torah service for women in the synagogue, parallel to the men’s service, on the occasion of a Bat Mitzvah. In such a framework, the girl will be able to read from the Torah and the Haftarah, give a Dvar Torah and lead parts of the service.

In the non-orthodox world, however, the options are far wider and the degree of approximation to the Bar Mitzvah ceremony depends very much on the outlook of the congregation and its rabbi, as well as the attitude of the particular family. There are non-orthodox synagogues which are totally egalitarian, where the Bat Mitzvah can do exactly the same as the Bar Mitzvah, so that all the elements mentioned earlier in relation to the Bar Mitzvah are available within the context of the Bat Mitzvah ceremony.

Towards the more traditional end of the spectrum, the options remain more limited:

• The most traditional non-orthodox, or liberal traditional congregations will probably limit the girl, for example, by enabling her to be called to read from the Torah, but separately from the traditional seven people called up to the Torah.
• She might well be allowed to read the Haftarah, but not to read from the Torah itself.

Each congregation will have slightly different rules.

Generally, it seems true to say that, in many non-orthodox communities which accept the idea of Bat Mitzvah, it might well be played out on a smaller ritual scale than in the case of the boys.

• There are often communal Bnot Mitzvah, where a whole class of girls comes up together for a Shabbat ceremony.
• Within many families it is not considered mandatory in the same way as the male ceremony. Families who will feel a Bar Mitzvah ceremony for their boys is essential will often not see a Bat Mitzvah ceremony for their daughters in the same way.

Nevertheless, it must be said that, in large sections of Jewish society, the norm has changed tremendously in the last generation. In many congregations, a Bat Mitzvah will be celebrated today with the same elements as a Bar Mitzvah and with the same communal status, or, at least, as a reflection of the significance of a change in personal status.

An interesting reflection on this change, within a presumably orthodox community (where there is separate seating for men and women), is found in a short article by Norma Baumel Joseph (see Bibliography).

• She reflects on her own time of Bat Mitzvah in 1956, stating that while she and her classmates were aware of their change in status within Judaism, there was no public or communal recognition or reinforcement of the fact. In contra-distinction to the situation for boys, the new status conferred on her by Jewish ritual descended upon herself and her friends quietly. In fact, the only public sign of change lay in the fact that from now on the girls were unable to sit with their fathers in the men’s section of the synagogue.
• She felt proud of her new status as a recognised, mature individual with obligations within Judaism that fell upon her a full year ahead of “those immature boys”. Nevertheless, there was no public communal recognition of the new status. Interestingly, she confesses that she had no expectations of such recognition and therefore she felt no disappointment.
• However, if the importance of public and communal recognition is an absolutely essential part of coming-of-age ceremonies, it is clear that something was indeed missing. The article considers the change that has occurred within the same school and community framework over the last forty or so years and makes it clear that Bat Mitzvah is now publicly accepted and collectively recognised, if not in quite the same way as for boys.