CHAPTER THREE - Adolescent Issues and Coming-of-Age Ceremonies

A: BACKGROUND

8. WHAT’S IN A BAR MITZVAH – EXAMINING THE CENTRAL ELEMENTS

It is possible to break down the formal elements of the Bar Mitzvah ceremony and the other central components of the new status, as follows:

• The boy is called up to the Torah (Law).
• There is some kind of a celebratory meal (a “Se’udat Mitzvah”) in his honour.
• He is expected to give some kind of a talk regarding the Torah or portion (a “Drashah” or “Dvar Torah”).
• The boy is expected to start laying Tefillin.
• There is an additional element of parental or communal blessings.

To understand the symbolic and practical significance of each of the different elements, they should first be examined one by one and then considered as a whole.

8a THE TORAH AND THE HAFTARAH

It is not surprising that the central aspect of the Bar Mitzvah ritual is connected with the Aliyah (calling up) of the “child” to the Torah - the Law – in the framework of the synagogue service on the Shabbat morning following his thirteenth (Hebrew) birthday.

The connection between the child and the Torah should be clear: if a major aim of the coming-of-age ceremony is to move the child into a strengthened relationship with the central elements of the culture and its value system, then the Torah has to play a part in a meaningful Jewish ceremony. As the Torah lies at the heart of the traditional value and belief system of the Jews, the culture will absolutely insist on bonding the boy and the Torah as closely as possible, as part of the attempt to secure the relationship, prior to his setting off on an independent course in life.

The calling up to the Torah can take a number of different forms:

• At the very least, the boy is likely to be called up to the Torah and therefore say the brachot (blessings) that precede the reading of each specific section of the Torah portion for that week, stand while that section is read, and recite the concluding brachah.
• It is likely, moreover, that parents, close family and friends will be honoured in the same way.
• Most common is the practice of calling up the boy to say the brachot and read the Maftir, the repeated last sentences of the Torah portion, together with the Haftarah, the section from the prophetic writings that is added to the weekly Torah portion.
• The boy might himself chant a portion of the Torah, i.e. before the Maftir.
• Another variant on this, especially in more knowledgeable families and with the increased availability of Jewish day school education, is for the boy to read both a section of the Torah and the Haftarah, or even the entire weekly portion. This is considered to be the original practice, when every child learned how to read from the Torah, but it is today a test of competence and stamina. Paradoxically, it is easier today than it has ever been, due to the existence of recordings prepared for tuition, on cassettes, CDs and the Internet.
• There are also families where the boy will, in addition, lead a part of the prayer service in the synagogue, often on Friday night.

The Aliyah does not have to occur in the framework of the Shabbat morning service: there are three other services during the week where there is a reading of the Torah and a family may choose to celebrate the Bar Mitzvah on one of these. These occur on Shabbat afternoon, and on Monday and Thursday mornings.

If the boy's Hebrew birthday falls appropriately in the preceeding week, it can be less stressful for a Bar Mitzvah boy to be called up and read for the first time, plus practice (on a shorter reading) for the big day in front of a far smaller congregation, early on a Monday or Thursday morning. This is often preferred in orthodox congregations, as it enables participation of those living too far away to walk on Shabbat, including the disabled, to travel to the event.

Unquestionably, however, most families have traditionally chosen the Shabbat morning service, the fullest and most impressive of the Torah reading occasions; a Monday or Thursday Aliyah notwithstanding, the big moment is almost always the Shabbat.

8b THE SE'UDAH – THE CELEBRATORY MEAL

One of the central components of the Bar Mitzvah celebrations has long been the Se'udah - the celebratory feast with which the child is honoured.

As for a Brit Milah, this can take place in a number of different formats. - Sometimes it takes place as a Kiddush in the synagogue immediately following the Service. In this case, it is almost always a celebration for the entire congregation and guests. [Strictly speaking (as for a Brit), a Kiddush, the sanctification of wine followed by light or substantial refreshment (snack food, vegetables, cakes, fruit, without bread) is a ceremonial event, but is not a Se'udat Mitzvah; the family will sit down to a meal with bread following the Kiddush.]

• Alternatively, the Se'udah can be a separate celebration for family and close friends, in the synagogue, the home, or a special hall and may even take place at a separate time - after Shabbat, or during the week.
• In recent times there has often been an extra element added in the form of a separate celebration for the friends and classmates of the Bar Mitzvah.

Many families choose to combine a number of these elements into the celebration.

It is clear why the element of celebration should be part of the coming-of-age ceremony: this is common to virtually all cultures that have a coming-of-age ceremony and ritual. The idea is to celebrate the transitional point and to encourage the individual in his continuation down the path of life within the framework of the culture.

Since this period of life is often a time of great anxiety and uncertainty for the child in process of change and in pursuit of independence, the act of celebration can also be understood as a source of great encouragement and support.

An important issue which surrounds Bar and Bat Mitzvah celebrations is the question of the over-elaborate character of the celebration, which will be addressed later.

8c THE DRASHAH OR DVAR TORAH – SPEECH

Another major element in the ritual has come to be the Drashah – the speech given by the Bar Mitzvah celebrant, in addition to a sermon by the Rabbi which usually addresses the Bar Mitzvah.

The Drashah or Dvar Torah can be given either in the synagogue after the Torah service, or within the framework of the Se'udah. In many communities, it was customary to give the same address twice, both in the synagogue and once again at the family feast, since no celebratory meal should be without words of Torah.

Originally the Dvar Torah was meant to demonstrate the mastery of the would-be-independent in the Jewish tradition and its literary sources. The centre of the Drashah was the Torah portion, or the various Mitzvot – practical Commandments – which now came to the fore in the life of the Bar Mitzvah.

This is, once again, a very logical component for a Jewish coming-of-age ceremony.

• If one of the ideas is to emphasise the independence of the Bar Mitzvah and to create an independent relationship between him and the group culture, then he must be expected to show familiarity and ability in the expounding of the tradition - a kind of test of competence.
• Moreover, the Jewish culture needs to know that its members are not merely passive recipients of the cultural tradition, but able to employ that culture creatively, to reflect on the constituent elements, and to find personal meaning.
• Of course, more often than not, both in previous generations and today, the majority of the speech has been in fact written by the child’s teacher. Nevertheless, in terms of its public value, the Bar Mitzvah displays familiarity with the tradition before the community and reveals himself as having the necessary skills to play a full part in community life.

The function of the Drashah has modified somewhat over time; another aspect has become increasingly dominant. The Drashah is used to thank various people, starting with the parents and immediate family, and extending to the teachers and rabbis who have made the ceremony possible. Guests and distant family who have travelled to the celebration are also singled out, and it is also common to hear thanks being given to the community of the synagogue.

The two functions of the Drashah, that of showing some familiarity with Jewish sources and that of giving thanks to family and community are nowadays usually interwoven. Both represent important functions in the new relationship between the individual and the community.

8d TEFILLIN AND MINYAN

As long ago as the Mediæval period, one of the central aspects of the Bar Mitzvah was connected to the rite of putting on Tefillin (phylacteries).

The symbolic centrality of the Tefillin and their connection to the Bar Mitzvah ceremony is, perhaps, the idea that the binding of the Tefillin to the head and the arm of the individual represents the binding of the individual, mind and soul, to the sacred communal traditions. He now holds the central texts of the community (which are inside the black Tefillin boxes) very close to both head and heart. The child is now tied to the community and its beliefs and values.

Because Tefillin are not worn on Shabbat, they do not, however, figure as part of the Bar Mitzvah ceremony if, as usual, it is held on Shabbat. Among traditional families, where daily prayers are the rule, the putting on of Tefillin around the time of the Bar Mitzvah ceremony is considered an extremely significant act.

This central, practical Mitzvah was one which, in many communities, had been previously adopted by boys coming up to thirteen, if they were felt to be ready for it, and by all boys from the age of thirteen onwards. It was one of those practices previously mentioned as being increasingly limited in the Ashkenazi world of the Middle Ages to boys of thirteen years old.

As such, it came to represent in ceremonial terms those practical mitzvot incumbent on all boys from the age of thirteen, and has, therefore, been accorded a very central role in the Bar Mitzvah celebration.

In most communities it is the practice to start the wearing of Tefillin at least one month before the Bar Mitzvah, as the boy accustoms himself to the new status which will soon be his.

In Sephardi and oriental communities, the practice has often been to begin the putting on of Tefillin a full year before Bar Mitzvah. These communities have tended not to accept as binding the limitations that became customary in the Middle Ages, whereby the acceptance of Mitzvot was limited to the thirteen year old boys. As a result, Bar Mitzvah customs vary somewhat in different oriental communities, with. those ceremonies that are concentrated at one specific moment around the thirteenth birthday in the Ashkenazi world being spread out and diffused over a longer period of time.

The “laying” of Tefillin at the thirteenth birthday has an additional, broader significance: the boy can be counted as a part of the daily minyan, the quorum of Jews necessary in traditional Judaism for the full prayer service to take place.

In other words, the boy is now counted as a full member of the community, as one who enables the community to carry out its full ritual demands. From this point in time, there is no difference between the thirteen year old youngster and the great scholar five times his age in terms of their essential ritual status.

While it is true that, according to the Halachah there are certain areas of life where a boy of thirteen is not yet seen as fully responsible - this is especially true in certain aspects of commercial life - in ritual terms, the thirteen year old and the old scholar are counted equally as members of the community who enable the practices of Judaism to be carried out in their fullness.

8e THE BAR MITZVAH BLESSINGS

The final ceremonial element to address is the blessings that the Bar Mitzvah receives. The Bar Mitzvah usually receives some kind of a blessing from the congregation, through the latter’s representatives, in the course of the service. It might take the form of a special blessing on his Aliyah to the Torah, or it might take the form of a specific, separate blessing later on in the service.

Whichever the case, the intent is the same: to indicate that now the boy has reached a new status within Judaism, a status which represents different communal expectations of the individual, as is to be expected. In addition, it should be mentioned, in many non-orthodox congregations, it is the practice for the Bar Mitzvah himself to say a particular blessing or to make a specific declaration, in which he takes upon himself the values and obligations that the community views as significant for the day.

However, what is particularly interesting, is a separate, specific blessing that is said traditionally by the father on the occasion of the Bar Mitzvah ceremony. The father makes what can only be defined at first glance as a most peculiar blessing: , which translates literally as:“Blessed be He who has acquitted me of the punishment for this one (i.e. my son who is now Bar Mitzvah).”

The source for this is a Midrash from the book Bereishit Rabbah, where we are told that a Rabbi Elazar stated that it is the responsibility of a man to look after his son until the age of thirteen, at which time he makes the above-mentioned blessing.

This appears to be a shocking formula. After all, the father is washing his hands of the responsibility that he has carried for his son for the last thirteen years, as if to say, “Thank G-d, he is no longer my responsibility!” What could be more callous and cold-hearted than this? But the blessing is, in fact, consistent with everything that we have said up to now: it indicates the new theological – and to an extent – the new social status of the thirteen year old boy and the counterpoint to the responsibility accepted at the Brit Milah.

Up to now, the boy has been considered the property of his parents, and not responsible for his own actions. Rather, his parents have borne responsibility for his transgressions. The parents have done what they can to bring him to the point of responsibility with the ability to discern the right way and make the distinction between wrong and right. His parents are still there: they will continue to care for him and to attempt to guide him in the right way, but the moral and theological responsibility is his.

Now, however, the boy is perceived as assuming full responsibilities for his actions. He has gained a new status in the community; he has new rights and privileges and together with this come new responsibilities.

This brachah by the father, standing alongside his son in front of the Torah, contains the essence of the transfer of responsibility, and of the new status. Today, the young man stands before G-d and community, as a full individual, in his own right.