CHAPTER THREE - Adolescent Issues and Coming-of-Age Ceremonies

C: EDUCATIONAL ACTIVITIES

37. Coming of Age - But at which Age?

An hour to an hour and a half

The aim of this activity is to address stages of maturity and to raise the issue of a later age for celebrating a coming-of-age ceremony.

• Open with the following questions:
  • How grown up do you / did you feel at age twelve (for girls), or thirteen (for boys)?
  • How independent do you / did you feel?
  • How independent did society make you feel at that age?
• Give the following list to all the participants.
  The group members are asked to put two numbers after each category:
  • The first number represents the age at which they feel that they could do the particular task, according to their own subjective feeling.
  • The second number represents the age at which they think that they were / are / will be allowed to do the task, according to the decisions of their surrounding society, as represented by parents / the organs of the state/ the law, or any other framework.

List:

1. Babysitting younger siblings
2. Babysitting other children for pay
3. Working on a paper route
4. Riding a bicycle on main roads
5. Driving a car
6. Working in a shop or a business (not a family business)
7. Buying your own clothes
8. Going on public transport
9. Marrying
10. Walking back home from somewhere about a mile from your house (at night).

• Divide the group into small groups and compare notes.
• Come together and examine the question whether twelve, or thirteen, is a good time to mark the transition to independence.
  • In what respects is it so?
  • In what respects, not?
• Explain the idea of “Confirmation”, or the coming-of-age ceremony, introduced by certain streams of Judaism in the latter half of nineteenth century and developed, either as a replacement for, or as an addition to, the Bar or Bat Mitzvah.
• Organise a three-way debate around the question of confirmation (or, if you don’t like the name, an older coming-of-age ceremony); have the group sit in three groups, according to their position. The proponents of each position should be prepared beforehand, using the relevant background sections from the first part of this chapter.
  • One position argues for confirmation as a replacement for Bar or Bat Mitzvah.
  • One position argues for confirmation as a complement to Bar or Bat Mitzvah.
  • One position argues against confirmation.
    Alternatively: make this a triangular debate, where positions can be moved along the interconnecting lines.
    • After the debate, a vote and discussion should be held on the merits and significances, or demerits, of an older coming-of-age ceremony in Judaism - either as a replacement for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, or as a complementary stage in maturity.