CHAPTER THREE - Adolescent Issues and Coming-of-Age Ceremonies

A: BACKGROUND

14. OTHER OPTIONS: CHANGING THE AGE

Non-orthodox communities have tried to address the changes in the social/political environment of the adolescent. One possible direction that has been explored within some sections of the Jewish world has been delaying the coming-of-age ceremony until it corresponds meaningfully to the participants' the life stage; another has been the enhancement of the Bar-Mitzvah ceremony with an additional and later coming-of-age ritual.

• Returning to the intense emotions that a mature Bat or Bar Mitzvah can have for the participants, it is unquestionable that one of the reasons for this strong emotion is that the participants have both understood and appreciated the meaning of the ceremony.
• Another factor is the participants’ own, personal choice to be part of the ceremony.

An attempt to structure these factors into the life cycle and provide a meaningful coming-of-age ceremony was made in the nineteenth century by the Reform movement, in the form of the ceremony known as "Confirmation". This ceremony – undoubtedly influenced by a ceremony of the same name within the Christian church – was originally intended to replace the Bar Mitzvah by substituting an older coming-of-age ceremony.

Confirmation took place in a group setting at the age of sixteen or seventeen, usually on the festival of Shavuot, which marks the giving of the Torah on Mount Sinai. Within the framework of the confirmation ceremony, the participants would take vows of loyalty towards Judaism. The purpose of locating the coming-of-age ceremony at a later age than Bar or Bat Mitzvah was to make these vows more meaningful for the participants, because they would be given out of a stronger sense of commitment. The main hope was that this would lead to more internalisation of the values of commitment and obligation. A secondary hope was that a confirmation framework would lengthen the years of commitment to Jewish education, beyond the years of Bar and Bat Mitzvah, at which time so many youngsters were even then dropping out of the Jewish education process (even earning part-time, certainly entering secular education), often with parental encouragement.

In the twentieth century, this ceremony spread to the Conservative, and even to parts of the orthodox movement in the United States. In these cases, there was an attempt to augment, rather than to replace the Bar (or Bat) Mitzvah ceremony, and to reinforce the values of commitment at a later stage of adolescence.

Over the last generation, the traditional Bar and Bat Mitzvah have, to a large extent, returned to Reform Judaism and there are those who feel this is proof of the bankruptcy of the confirmation ceremony.

However, it could be suggested that the two ceremonies can be understood as an attempt to mark different points in the coming-of-age process:

• If the Bar or Bat Mitzvah represents the beginning of the growth process towards personal responsibility and independence within the Jewish world, confirmation can be seen as a later stage in the long process of adolescence in the contemporary world.
• Ultimately, taken together, the two ceremonies could be interpreted as an attempt to contend with the societal changes that have brought into question the original meaning of the ancient ceremony and its effectiveness.
• To that extent, along with other educational initiatives aimed at addressing the same problem, it should be viewed as an interesting attempt to cope with the challenge of ancient rituals in a modern world.
• This age group appears to have a social significance in Jewish and western society, even if it is no longer parallel to the Talmudic prescription of 'marriage at eighteen': collective wisdom appears to indicate that a community ignores it at a price.

It might be mentioned here that there are many who feel uncomfortable with the idea of confirmation – not because of the content, but because of the name: it sounds too much like what indeed it was – an attempt to co-opt a Christian coming-of-age ceremony to replace a different, Jewish one. Possibly, the name should be changed.

The challenge today, for all educators, is to grapple precisely with these problems:

• Can these old ceremonies be preserved in a way that retains them as part of a meaningful value system within Judaism?
• If they are retained, how should the educational approach and scope be changed to make them meaningful?
• Alternatively, is it necessary to seek out entirely new ceremonies, possibly in a new setting, that change the form of the old traditions and rituals - but retain the purpose of the original ceremonies?
• Is some kind of combined approach required?