CHAPTER THREE - Adolescent Issues and Coming-of-Age Ceremonies

A: BACKGROUND

11. THE TIMES THEY ARE A-CHANGING: EXAMINING THE IMPLICATIONS

The issue of age is next on the agenda. For the Rabbis of the Talmudic period, it was clear that the years between twelve and thirteen represented a time of real change. The average girl at twelve years old and the average boy at thirteen were clearly understood as capable and worthy of the new responsibilities and the new relationship with the community, as outlined above. However, times have changed.

We live in societies that perceive the transition to adulthood as occurring later in life. In contemporary society, childhood and adolescence are understood as considerably more drawn-out processes than in previous eras. The whole idea of childhood as a stage in life, with its own needs and demands, is much more widely accepted and developed today than at any time in the past. Only at some points between the age of seventeen and twenty one, do most western societies confer a series of rights and responsibilities that represent a recognition of a new civic status within society. The ability to be tried for one’s actions; the ability to drive a car; the right to vote; the obligation to fight for one’s country – these are just a few of the main rights and responsibilities that society places on its young adults in these years.

How has this affected Jewish perceptions of self and how has the question of the Bat and Bar Mitzvah been affected?

• The first important point is that even the rabbis recognised that twelve or thirteen was the beginning of change, but not the end. To refer back to the preceding source from Pirkei Avot, for example, eighteen was seen by the speaker/writer as the desired age for marriage, while twenty was seen as the time for pursuing an occupation. It should be mentioned that some commentators interpreted the intention of “pursuing” as pursuing in war, i.e. soldiering. Whichever interpretation is accepted, there are clear young adult stages after the age of thirteen. Nevertheless, for the rabbis, as mentioned, thirteen (and twelve) represented a meaningful landmark or watershed.
• Contemporary society does not reinforce that perception.
  These years are correctly viewed as a time of change both physical and emotional, as previously mentioned. However, it would be fair to say that society tends to consider these years the beginning of change which will, and should, ultimately be crowned by the acceptance of responsibility as an adult, several years down the line.

The self-perception of adolescents also tends to reflect this external societal judgment on the meaning of these years. Very few adolescents consider these years a key turning point in the move towards adulthood and full responsibility - which undoubtedly poses a problem for the concept of Bat and Bar Mitzvah.

This problematic can perhaps be defined in terms of the following questions:

• What can the concept of Bar or Bat Mitzvah mean today to the child for whom the age of responsibility in meaningful terms is still years away?
• What implications does this hold for the ceremony?