CHAPTER TWO - Birth Ceremonies and Life Beginnings

A: BACKGROUND

13. WHAT OF THE WOMEN? BIRTH CEREMONIES FOR BABY GIRLS

A major question that needs to be addressed and mentioned earlier is the question of the ceremony for baby girls. This has become an far more important issue in recent decades, as the role of women in traditional Judaism has been increasingly questioned.

Now that the force of the traditional Brit ceremony has been expounded, it should be clear that the traditional custom of the baby naming ceremony for a girl in the synagogue, the Simchat Bat, (happiness of a daughter), hardly reaches the potential power of the Brit:

• The name of the ceremony itself has none of the serious associations of its male counterpart.
• Even moving the naming ceremony to the eighth day did not offer a parallel significance.

About thirty years ago, an intensive and serious debate began about possible substitutes and equivalent, significant ceremonies that could be developed or adapted for baby girls. Even the modern orthodox circles, which do not openly debate it, have placed greater emphasis on this moment. The premise underlying the whole debate (which continues today) was that new rituals needed to be created to supply the community and the newborn baby girl with a similar ceremonial framework, significance and cushioning to welcome her into the world as a boy receives through the mechanism of the Brit. Many suggestions were made and have been tried out in practice. We bring some of them here, with their various directions and emphases, reflecting the circles, or communities which adopted them.

Many have chosen to concentrate on the idea of Brit rather than of milah, recognizing the subordination of the physical mark to the spiritual power of the occasion. There has led to a number of attempts to develop liturgical responses, which emphasize the power of words and the role of traditional texts in providing the framework of ritual that ushers the newborn child into the requisite relationship with peoplehood, G-d and identity.

Another direction has been to mark the birth with a ritual that connects to other parts of the tradition for women. Prominent among these is the suggestion to link the celebration of a child's birth with the ceremony celebrating the new moon, a traditional Jewish ceremony, understood by many as having special importance for women. This suggestion would be to incorporate the baby naming and acceptance ceremony into the welcoming ceremony for the new moon.

Another idea associated with the adaptation of Jewish symbols associated with women, has been the suggestion to incorporate immersion rituals within a naming ceremony. It is an idea rich in associations that might be thought appropriate in a birth ceremony. There is a long, multi-level association between women and water in many different cultures, including the Jewish. Specifically, the association of mikveh has become largely, although not exclusively, connected with women, (marriage, birth and menstruation).

Moreover, there is the association of welcoming people into Judaism - converts - by a rite of immersion. For men, the conversion procedure includes circumcision as a central part. It can therefore be argued that, although the idea of mikveh immersion is central to all converts of both sexes, it is in a sense a more central part of the conversion process for women and it can be put forward as a good basis for a Covenant ceremony in which the girl child is welcomed into Jewish womanhood. In addition, there is a medieval tradition that when Abraham and Sarah became Jewish, Abraham did it through circumcision, while Sarah did it through ritual immersion. Other ceremonies have also been suggested which incorporate the use of water in different ways.

There have been those who have suggested that there should be some kind of physical equivalent to circumcision within a new ceremony for baby girls. While this is both controversial and remains a peripheral practice, it should not surprise us that this idea of the physical component of a ceremony for baby girls did emerge - and to considerable protest. It is important to address it - and this will be done from the perspective of those who seek to achieve milah for a girl baby, followed by consideration of the objections.

The underlying idea was that a girl should carry with her an irreversible physical mark of the Covenant to remind her and others of her loyalties and her sense of belonging. The preference was for an organ representing associations with fertility and the connections to future generations, and to demonstrate our need to strive for perfection in all aspects of our life, through a physical change. The major suggestion in this direction was radical: hymendectomy, as part of a Covenant ceremony.

The article in which this first appeared was by Mary Gendler, and was published in a 1975 edition of Response magazine. A literary reflection of the same idea, including a description of one such ceremony, appeared soon after in the book, "A Weave of Women" by E.M. Broner, 1978. Other elements are included, beyond this act, which enhance the effect of the ritual. The ceremony, as described, is immensely powerful, conducted entirely within the presence of a diverse group of women. What emerges clearly from these descriptions is that, in this ceremony, the girl-child is being welcomed into the tribe of women, as much as into the tribe of Jews, and that the ceremony is constructed accordingly.

Objections were based on the following premises:

• It was opposed by many who found it unappealing, on spiritual or aesthetic grounds.
• A great number said it was unnecessary.
• Some felt that this act was not parallel in its emotional implications to that of male circumcision.
• For many, there was an association with the traditional reverence for virginity in Judaism. Virginity, for males and females before marriage, is perceived as a central value, so it is understandable that an act to physically mark the reproductive organs of a baby girl would be viewed by many as problematic.
• There were misleading associations with various female "circumcision" ceremonies, which involve dangerous mutilation of the female genital area, practiced in some tribal societies of Sudan and that region.
  As a result, the tendency has been to look elsewhere than the physical in the attempt to develop a meaningful ceremony for girl babies.

All of these suggestions are still new and, with the seeming exception of the last-named, they are in the process of being examined and tried out by different families. It remains to be seen, which, if any of the suggested directions will strike responsive roots among contemporary Jewish families. However, it seems reasonable to assume that the trend towards searching for rituals and ceremonies aimed at providing equal validation for girls will continue to develop and be practiced.