CHAPTER 1 - Preparing for Children

C: Educational Activities

35. Making Men and Women
(About one and a half hours)

The aim of this activity is to get the participants to think about their own gender and about how Judaism differentiates between genders.

• Ask the participants to spend about ten minutes considering the question how they feel about being born as the gender that they are.
  Are the boys glad to be boys?
  Are the girls glad to be girls?
  Why? Why not? They should write down a few notes.

• Divide the group up according to gender - boys in one group, girls in another. If either group is too large for discussion they should be split, but kept in their own gender groups. Let them exchange their ideas. Since this is a subject that is likely to provoke embarrassment manifested in "giggly behavior," you should do whatever you need to do in order to create a serious atmosphere - encourage, set time limits.

• Now pair the boys and girls off, or if the numbers don't work, create the smallest groups possible with at least one of person of each sex in each group.

Let them explain to each other what they have come up with and, in addition, perhaps add other thoughts that they heard within their gender groups previously.

• At this point each individual should be given the traditional daily brachot (blessings) that relate to gender. They are said during the Birchat HaShachar (morning blessings).

The boys' bracha is as follows:
áøåê àúä ä' àìå÷éðå îìê äòåìí ùìà òùðé àùä
Blessed are you, L-rd of the universe, who did not make me a woman.

The girls' bracha is as follows:
áøåê àúä ä' àìå÷éðå îìê äòåìí ùòùðé ëøöåðå
Blessed are you, L-rd of the universe who made me according to His will.

In addition, it should be made clear to all the participants that the traditional explanation of the difference - and specifically of the meaning of the men's bracha - is that men are thanking G-d for the opportunity to perform additional precepts (mitzvot) that men have to do according to Judaism. Many mitzvot are obligatory for men, but are not so for women.

• Each person should be given a few minutes to think about their reaction to the different brachot.

• Reassemble in mixed gender groups and have time to explain their reactions to each other, and to discuss/question each other over their reactions.

• Return to single gender groups and a number of proposals are offered to them. The following are then options, which they are asked to discuss with a view to choosing between them, in an attempt to come up with a majority group opinion. They are asked to explain how they came to their decision.

Options:

1. The traditional bracha found in almost all orthodox siddurim (prayer books):
   The boys'/men's version:
   áøåê àúä ä' àìå÷éðå îìê äòåìí ùìà òùðé àùä
   Blessed are you, L-rd of the universe, who did not make me a woman.
   The girls'/women's version:
   áøåê àúä ä' àìå÷éðå îìê äòåìí ùòùðé ëøöåðå
   Blessed are you, L-rd of the universe, who made me according to His will.
2. Certain Reform congregations (including the official siddur of the Israeli Reform Movement) and Conservative Congregations (including the official siddur of the American and Israeli Conservative Movement):
   For all:
   áøåê ùòùðé áöìîå
   Blessed… who made me in His image.
3. An alternative suggestion of the Israeli Conservative movement.
   For all to leave out the bracha completely.
4. A suggestion by the well-known Israeli modern Orthodox Rabbi, Shlomo Riskin.
   For boys/men:
   áøåê ùìà òùðé àùä åòùðé ëøöåðå
   Blessed… who did not make me a woman and who made me according to His will.
   For girls/women:
   áøåê ùìà òùðé àéù åòùðé ëøöåðå
   Blessed… who did not make me a man and who made me according to His will.
5. An additional possibility.
   For boys/men:
   áøåê ùòùðé âáø
   Blessed… who made me a man.
   For girls/women:
   áøåê ùòùðé àùä
   Blessed... who made me a woman.
6. An additional possibility.
   For all:
   áøåê ùòùðé ëøöåðå
   Blessed… who made me according to His will.
7. A different suggestion from the group, an idea not mentioned here.

• The group should come back together and the different suggestions should be discussed. Finally, a concluding question that you might want to ask the whole group is:

Who do you think should make the decision as to which bracha should be used?