Chapter 1 - Preparing For Children: Life Questions

A: Background

15. Filling the Gap: 2 - Adoption

Let us now pass to another rather different question in the Jewish attitude towards birth, connected, however, to the previous issue of couples who have problems conceiving children. So far we have talked exclusively of natural births of children. But there is also the issue of adoption that needs to be examined in this context.

What is the Jewish attitude towards adoption? De facto adoption exists and is recognized by Judaism, albeit in a slightly different way to the prevalent mode in western society. The difference is a result of the Jewish idea that the natural ties that exist between biological parents and a child can never be annulled, even though the child can be legally transferred to the guardianship of other adults in whom are vested all the rights and responsibilities of full parenthood. One implication of this is clear: because there are a number of prohibitions in Judaism regarding who is entitled to marry whom among blood relations, the original identity of the adopted individual is extremely important.

Throughout Jewish history, the most common cases of adoption have traditionally been in the case of orphans. G-d is regarded as the father of orphans and since the imitation of G-d is one of the basic concepts in Judaism, it follows that the adoption of orphans has been seen as a particular act of merit. It is reasonable to assume that in most Jewish communities throughout history, living a largely insular life with only limited contact with the outside non-Jewish community, most adoption was of Jewish children who, for one reason or another, were not capable of caring for themselves.

However in the modern world, this tends not to be the case. Jews are, in almost all communities, living a more open life with greater involvement in the surrounding society than previously. The idea of adopting children who are not Jewish from birth is much more widely accepted. This is the side of "demand". On the side of "supply", there is a shortage of Jewish candidates for adoption. Birth control and greater practical opportunities for abortion on the one hand, and increased tolerance towards the idea of single mothers, on the other, have created a situation whereby most families who are interested in adoption are likely to have to go beyond the Jewish world in order to find a child.

This raises the extra complication of conversion. Through a complicated legal process, based essentially on a legal fiction, the conversion of a minor into Judaism as part of the adoptive process is allowed and possible. This involves a conversion ceremony (immersion in water and circumcision for a boy). However, a legal obligation exists for a minor to confirm his or her willingness to remain within Judaism on attaining majority status. Some authorities permit a negative understanding of this rule, permitting the continuation of the Jewish status, as long as the young adult does not deny it. There is a prevalent legal opinion that, in order for the child to be able to accept her or his own status as a Jew, it is necessary that adoptees be informed of their real parents.

If adopting parents have the normal parental obligations towards the child, adopted children have similar obligations towards their adoptive parents. It is interesting to note in this context that in Eastern Europe a child that was adopted by a childless couple would often refer to the child as their "Kaddish," meaning that that child would be the one who would carry on the memory of the adopting parents by reciting the Kaddish memorial prayer after their death.

This issue of carrying on the memory of the family, and of people within the family, brings us to the threshold of the birth itself. One of the major ways that Jews relate to the issue of the maintenance of family memory is through the names that are given to the children. It is with this issue that we will begin the next chapter, in which we will start to talk of life - Jewish life - after birth.