Chapter 1 - Preparing For Children: Life Questions

A: Background

14. Filling a Gap: 1- Issues of Infertility

One reason that it has been traditionally unacceptable to express a preference for one kind of child, rather than another, lies in the idea that the child is a child of G-d and is given as a gift to the parents. From that point of view it would be both arrogant and a sign of ingratitude to G-d to question G-d's decision regarding the sex of the child. G-d's decisions are seen as final and benevolent. However, this raises the question of childlessness and barrenness. In a tradition that is so pro-birth and so child-centered, how is the question of the infertile childless couple seen? Are parents who are suffering from fertility problems allowed to take steps to correct the situation, or are they simply meant to be passive and accept their fate as Divinely ordained?

As mentioned earlier, the Tanach is particularly rich in stories of infertility. In line with prevailing conceptions in the ancient world, the problem is inevitably seen as that of the woman, and correspondingly it is the woman who is in the center of the biblical stories that deal with the problem. Most famous among these stories are those of the Abrahamic family which the book of Bereishit follows in detail through its first four generations. Primary among these stories is, predictably, the story of the childlessness of Sarah, that childlessness which is alleviated suddenly and miraculously in old age with the birth of Isaac. But Sarah is not alone in her situation of barrenness. Rebecca and Rachel also have problems in this respect. In the late books we encounter the stories of Hannah, the mother of Samuel and the unnamed mother of Samson, who are both depicted as barren.

It is clear that in many of these cases there is enormous suffering attendant on the situation, especially on the part of the woman. After various degrees of suffering however, all five cases are answered by G-d in one way or other. In the case of Sarah (Bereishit 18, 21), and the mother of Samson (Judges 13), it is after a visit for Divine messengers. In the case of Rebecca (Bereishit 25) and most graphically, Hannah (1 Samuel 1), it is following personal prayer that G-d rewards them. In the case of Rachel, (Bereishit 30) we are told merely that G-d remembered her.

The text in all these cases is unequivocal: issues of fertility and barrenness are in the hands of G-d. One can pray, one can weep and one can beg, but the decision is that of G-d alone. This has remained the traditional attitude towards the issue of childlessness, but in the last decades the situation has changed in terms of the opportunities that medical science offers for reversing the situation. The question that needs to be asked is how Judaism relates to medical procedures that are aimed at enabling barren couples to have children.

The short answer is that Judaism tends to approve most procedures for women, as long as they do not unduly affect the health of the woman in question. The Halacha is a little more circumspect, however, with relation to procedures involving male infertility. Artificial donor insemination (by a man other than the husband) is generally viewed as unacceptable and surrogate motherhood is also extremely controversial. However, the normal approach is to see most accepted medical procedures as ways of helping the Divine process of birth through a medical helping hand. As such, they are generally accepted and indeed encouraged. We suggest sources for a more detailed examination of these issues in the bibliography.