Chapter 1 - Preparing For Children: Life Questions

A: Background

12. Thank G-D I'm a man? The question of gender preference

Returning to the question of birth, the above-mentioned dispute between the houses of Hillel and Shammai raises a question that is worth examining, even briefly. If Shammai sees two boys as the minimum fulfillment of the commandment of procreation, as opposed to Hillel who sees that the commandment can be satisfied by the birth of a boy and a girl, the question must be asked: does Judaism prefer boys?

This is one of the most difficult of all questions to ask in the realm of family relations and life-cycle issues. The very raising of the question itself arouses strong emotions; the subject itself is rather a taboo issue. In the last thirty years, especially since the rise of the Jewish feminist movement which has often attacked the traditional culture of Judaism as being sexist and unjust, dozens of books and articles have been written about the role of women in Judaism. Many of these are apologetic in tone, seeking the justice of the tradition. The approach of this school of thought is broadly speaking that women are "separate but equal" in the Jewish tradition; that men and women are relegated to different realms of activity within Jewish life, and that within the separate realms the man is a king and the woman a queen. In other words, difference does not mean that one group is preferred over the other. Rather, it is stated, both genders reflect the work of G-d, who intended different spheres of activity and complementary roles for them both. Reference is often made to the Creation account in Bereishit 1.

So G-d created the man in his own image. In the image of G-d He created him. Male and female He created them.
Bereishit 1:27

Since G-d is a just G-d, it is impossible to create that He would favour one gender over the other when he created them at the same instant in His own image. Thus in a nutshell, the traditionalist point of view is one of "separate but equal."