Beni Mitzvah - FAQ

 

 

 

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What is Bar or Bat Mitzvah?

When a boy reaches the age of 13 he is considered a Bar Mitzvah, and is obligated to observe mitzvot (Torah commandments) as an adult Jew. Traditionally, this obligation begins for girls at 12 (although some congregations consider 13 the age for girls to celebrate their Bat Mitzvah).

What is my Hebrew birthday? How do I set the date for my Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration?

The Hebrew date determines the right time to celebrate your Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

How does the Hebrew calendar work?

The Hebrew calendar is divided into 12 lunar months. Each one begins on Rosh Hodesh- the day when the new moon appears. It is shorter than the Gregorian calendar, which follows the solar year, by 11 days. Every so often (7 times in a 19 year cycle) an extra month is added to the Hebrew year so that the Jewish holidays fall in their appropriate season.

Do I have to learn Hebrew for my Bar/Bat Mitzva?

No, but knowing some Hebrew will enhance your Jewish knowledge and your Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Being able to read from the Torah, following the prayers in the Siddur, and knowing Hebrew terms will help to make your Bar/Bat Mitzvah much more meaningful.

What are some traditions related to Bar/Bat Mitzvah?

Traditionally, boys begin to don Tefillin on their Bar Mitzvah (or several months before), and are called up to to the Torah for an Aliyah . Often, the Bar Mitzvah boy will wear a Tallit. Many boys read from the Torah and the Haftara on their Bar Mitzvah Shabbat, and are expected to give a Drashah on the Parshah. Some Bar Mitzvah boys lead services. A celebration is held to mark this special occasion, and friends and family are invited to share in a festive meal. It is customary to give gifts to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

In many non-orthodox congregations in America, Bar and Bat Mitzvah are celebrated in the same way. You should check with your rabbi what is customary in your community.

The celebration of Bat Mitzvah is much more recent in Judaism.

In many orthodox communities, Bat Mitzvah is celebrated with a festive meal for family and friends, where the Bat Mitzvah girl gives a Drashah. Often, she completes a special Torah study or community service project in honor of her reaching the age of Mitzvot. Sometimes, synagogues or schools have a joint Bat Mitzvah program that culminates in a performance and party for the entire group.

Traditionally, a Seudat Mitzvah, a festive meal accompanying a religious occasion, is served to give thanks for reaching the age of Mitzvot. In many congregations, it is the custom for the family of the Bar/Bat mitzvah to provide a Kiddush reception after services. Check the practice in your community.

What do I have to do to become Bar/ Bat Mitzva?

Nothing - except be Jewish and reach the age of Mitzvot! Becoming a Bar/ Bat Mitzvah isn't tied to any specific ceremony or action, it's automatic. Reading the Torah, giving a Drashah, leading services, having a party are all ways of marking and giving significance to this important milestone in your life.

It is important that the celebration of your reaching the age of Mitzvot is a meaningful and positive experience for you and your family. It can be a wonderful learning experience, and contribute to your Jewish identity and personal growth. Talk to your parents and rabbi to understand their hopes and expectations, and what is customary in your community. Then decide together with them how you will mark your Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

What is the Torah Portion read on my Bar/Bat Mitzvah Shabbat?

Each book of the Torah is made up of portions (parshiot- single: parsha). Click on the book, and then on the name of your parsha. You will need Realplayer to listen to the Torah reading, and the text and sound are not synchronized. You can also learn your Parshah with the traditional cantillation (tune)

What is a Haftara?

The Haftara is a selection from the prophetic books of the Bible, and is read on Shabbat and Festivals. Each Parshah has its own Haftara that connects to the Torah reading or the festival.

Do I have to celebrate my Bar/Bat Mitzvah on the Sabbath?

No. The advantages of celebrating your Bar/Bat Mitzvah on the Sabbath are that the entire Torah portion (Parshah) is read (that may sound like a disadvantage, but it gives you the opportunity of honoring friends and relatives with an Aliyah to the Torah), the Haftara is read, and services are more widely attended than on weekdays. A Kiddush reception after Shabbat prayers is a nice way to include the entire congregation in your Simchah.

On the other hand, Shabbat observance may impose certain limitations, including driving, photographs, music, etc. Congregations have different standards in the way that they honor the Sabbath, and your guests may have varying levels of Sabbath observance. Discuss this issue with your rabbi when you plan your Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration.

Do I have to give a speech? Where can I get help?

A Bar or Bat Mitzvah is an opportunity to share with your community, family and friends things that you have learned and what Judaism means to you. A speech is one way to do this, and traditionally the Drashah is an important aspect of the celebration. It doesn't have to be long, but it should be interesting and express your thoughts and feelings. It also gives you a chance to thank your parents and teachers, friends and family who have made the effort to attend your Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

A speech is traditional, but you may want to consider additional ways of expressing your thoughts and feelings: an exhibition of your original art or photographs, a written text, or musical performance.

The "Building a Jewish World" Bar/Bat Mitzvah Project offers you fascinating links on Parshat HaShavua and other Jewish topics, and a bibliography of books of Jewish interest that can enrich your speech and study. In addition, we have a bank of Drashot that can give you ideas. Click here for some ideas on how to structure your Drashah.

What is the significance of Tallit and Tefillin?

The Tallit is a four cornered garment worn in order to perform the commandment of Tzitzit (fringes or tassels), as mentioned in the Bible, Numbers 15: 37-41. The purpose of this commandment is to remind one of all of God's commandments when we see the fringes. The blue thread was to remind the Jew of the Heavenly Throne. Observant Jews wear a Tallit for morning services, and many religious Jews wear a small four- cornered fringed garment (Tallit katan) under the shirt throughout the day.

The numerical value of the Hebrew word "Tzitzit" (fringes or tassels) is 600. Add to this the 8 strands and 5 knots, and we have 613- the number of commandments in the Torah. The Tallit is a unique symbol of Jewish identity, and of our tie to God. It is the Biblically mandated Jewish "uniform".

Tefillin are boxes that contain passages from the Torah to fulfill the mitzvah "And you shall bind them as a sign upon your hand and they should be an ornament between your eyes" (Exodus 13). They are worn on the left arm (if you are right-handed) and above the forehead during morning prayers on week days. They serve to remind us of God's miracles and to dedicate our powers of thought, emotions and actions to His service.

  • To learn more about Tefillin, click here http://www.Tefillin.co.il/ (You will have to explore this site on your own. It includes a movie and photograph gallery of how to put on Tefillin, as well as the symbolism of this Mitzvah).

How can I make my Bar/Bat Mizvah more meaningful?

"Building a Jewish World" offers you an opportunity to make your Bar/Bat Mitzvah meaningful in several different ways.

First of all, we offer study resources, activities and valuable links to enrich your knowledge of Judaism and personal identity. In addition, "Building a Jewish World" provides platforms for forums and chat rooms that can connect you with Jews all over the world.

We also suggest making your Bar/Bat Mitzvah a "giving" experience by including "Tzedakah" as part of your celebration. See this site for great ideas about giving: http://www.ziv.org/BarBat.htm

"Building a Jewish World" Bar/ Bat Mitzvah program gives you the opportunity to participate in educational projects and fun activities, forums and chat rooms with other B'nei and B'not Mitzvah all over the world. You can study with them, share feelings, thoughts and plans with them, and be part of a worldwide virtual community of B'nei Mitzvah.

Where can I learn more about Judaism and Israel online?

Take a look at our fascinating links to educational activities and Jewish learning. These are valuable resources for learning about Jewish holidays, observance, values, Israel, history, and much more.

What books can I read about Judaism and Israel?

Here is a selected bibliography of interesting books on Judaism and Israel. We recommend them as Bar/Bat Mitzvah presents!

 


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